Tina's Adventures in Ambien Land

Well, my fascination with my (and some other people's) reaction to Ambien might be a little self-centered...or maybe even narcissistic. I guess I'm not so worried about seeming narcissistic, because I'm sure people are just as fascinated with me as me...is. Ahem.

But, I have to mention this: I spent Monday through yesterday looking all around the house for my brux guard. (In my body's continued quest to make sleeping as unsatisfying as possible, I grind my teeth when I'm not experiencing insomnia.) In case you don't know, a brux guard is something you wear in your mouth that cushions the attempted grinding of the teeth. I couldn't find this thing anywhere! And this is not like you can just go out and replace these things! They're really expensive (for anyone who's brother-in-law is not a dentist) and still take several days to get back, and fruit basket to your brother-in-law's office if he is a dentist.

I knew it could be laying around the bedroom or bathroom because, despite what the commercials say, Ambien is hard to shake off when you wake up. (Should that be "laying" or "lying"? Is it "chickens lay and horses lie"? Why are horses so dishonest? What about "getting it right from the horse's mouth"?) But what's the choice? Be tired, disoriented, and unhealthy because of long-term sleep deprivation?

Anyway, the amnesia that you have at night can linger into the morning and, in my experience, it makes me emotional. Here's an example of THAT...back in January I was doing my last-minute weather checks for the Orlando area since we were getting ready to take the kids to Disney World for vacation. I checked Weather.com every morning when I first got up, waiting for the 10-day forecast to totally encompass the days of our visit. So one morning I'm upset beyond belief when I read that our trip was going to be filled with 30-something-degree days and a possible snowstorm. I immediately sent out a somewhat hysterical e-mail to all my friends, my dad (who lives in Sarasota), and my two brothers.

About an hour later I got to work and suddenly reality sank in...it's crazy to think it would be 30-something degrees and snowing in Orlando...let alone for several days in a row. I checked weather.com again and realized that I had not clicked on my saved Orlando search and had, therefore, been looking at the weather for Charleston, WV. Not surprisingly, and maybe intuitively, my dad's one-line response to my written hysterics was "No snow in the Big O."

So I couldn't find my brux guard for three days. I had to sleep without it and awoke with all the symptoms of grinding my teeth the night before. This morning, I was digging in the bottom of my purse looking for more mints (to which I'm addicted) and I found...my brux guard. I just wonder at what point Monday morning I decided to take it to work with me.